No Arms - No Legs Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs...
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves?
A: Russell
And what do you call the same guy, 6 months later
PETE!!!!!
No feet:
Neil
In your mailbox:
Bill
In the lake
Bob
In a ditch
Phil
Outside the door
Matt
On the wall
Art
What do you call his arms and legs?
Pieces of Art!
What if he also doesn't have a tongue!?
Tasteless Art!
What do you call two guys with no arms/legs in the water
Swimming trunks
No arms, no legs, between two buildings:
Ali
No arms, no legs, rabbit in ass:
Warren.
No arms, no legs, no head, no torso:
Dick.
No arms, no legs but able to swim the English Channel:
Clever Dick
A woman with no arms, legs, or torso?
Muffie
In a fry pan
Pam (and she won't stick!)
The woman who puts him in the fireplace :
Burnadette
What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
Nice tits!
Left out in the sun?
Wilt
Covered with cement?
Rock
In your pool?
Bob
In your hot tub?
Stu
On your BBQ grill?
Frank
What do you call a woman who has one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen
A Japanese woman with the same affliction?
Irene
What do you call her after the operation?
Noleen.
A couple, both with no arms & no legs, and run a butcher shop?
Chuck and Patty
When you throw him across a pond ?
Skip
On hot asphalt?
Flip
No arms, no legs, and no PELVIS??
Chester
Going over a fence?
Homer
In your girlfriend's lingerie drawer?
Teddy.
Who every one takes a dump on?
John
A guy with one arm and no legs who holds up your car?
Jack
A guy with no arms and legs that you use to loosen hex screws?
Allen
Two guys w/ no arms and no legs nailed to your spice rack?
Herb and Basil.
Woman w/ no arms/legs who's been force fed beans?
Gail.
Woman w/ no arms/ legs who's hanging from your chandelier?
1. Crystal.
2. Tiffany
Guy w/ no arms/legs who's upside down in the end zone?
Spike.
A girl with no arms and no legs, lying on a grill?
PATTY!
Hanging from a chain destroying buildings?
Rex
Covered in oil?
Derek
What do you call a man, with no arms and no legs, out in the ocean?
Screwed!!
What do you call a woman without legs and arms?
Nothing. She ain't going nowhere, so drop the sweet talk!
What do you call a woman his been run over by a bus?
Pattie.
What do you call a guy with no arm and no legs in a coffee cup?
Joe
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on a poker table?
Chip
Waterskiing
Skip
On a beach
Sandy
Throwing up
Chuck
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs getting trampled on by a
bunch of basketball players?
Jim.
On a golf course?
Chip
Sitting on a hill
Cliff
Twin boys hanging over the window....
Curt 'n' Rod
WOMAN with no arms & no legs:
At the end of a long March
April
In your garden
Lilly or Violet
Coming like thunder across the bay
Dawn
At sunset
Eve
In a hole
Peg
MAN with no arms & no legs:
Holding drill bit in teeth
Chuck
Thrown against the wall
Mark
In a bottle
Pop
Hit by lightning
Rod
On a stage
Mike
MAN with no legs, one arm and Parkinson's shaving
Nick
MAN with no legs, holding a chain in each hand
Link
Man with one leg
Tip
Man with no knee caps
Neil
Congressman with one leg and no knee caps
Tip O'Neil
On railroad track
Spike
Out of the wind
Lee
On an antenna
Guy
Man - no arms/no legs in a stream:
Eddy
Woman - no arms/no legs in a vase:
Rose
Male midget - no arms/no legs on a grill:
Frank Shorter
